March 3, 2024, Sunday, Overcast with Light Rain
The blog created over a hundred days ago, hosted domestically, backed up, is still empty.
Looking back, out of impulse, I bought a 99 yuan per year Alibaba Cloud host, also backed up, planning to create a personal resume website, showcasing my work experience, skills, and such. I thought that work-related things should not be taken lightly, and what I put out should reflect my abilities.
However, over a hundred days have passed, and I haven't even managed to create a resume template. I am very disappointed in myself! Am I really so fallen that I don't want to work anymore?
Living aimlessly, is this how I will spend my life?
Deep down, I am unwilling. There is always a voice inside me saying that I cannot be a failure, I must do something.
But what to do? I have thought about doing charity work, becoming a counselor, a yoga instructor, a fitness coach, a content creator, various freelance jobs, and even thought about becoming a farmer, growing fruits, flowers, raising cats, dogs...
So far, all my efforts have been in vain.
These past few years, I have been struggling with depression and sleep disorders. Others may not know, but I write in my diary to vent and motivate myself.
I also want to have a home like everyone else. With a partner, children, it would be livelier, not so lonely. Having a family and children gives hope and responsibility. With my strong-willed nature, I cannot give up.
My neighbor said that since having children, he feels more resilient. He used to retreat easily, but now he fights hard and doesn't back down in the face of any difficulty. Because he loves his children, they are the pillar of his small family.
Character determines destiny.
In the past, when I had opportunities, I always thought I could become better, but I missed them repeatedly. Now that I am down and out, I cannot demand anything, nor can I compromise against my will. I know that those stuck in the mud should not cling to anyone, as they will be despised. Quickly climb out, clean yourself up, and don't let bad people throw stones at you.
When we overcome difficulties, get back on track, with determination, hope, and enthusiasm, companions and partners will naturally appear. "Do not say there are no true friends on the road ahead, a heart as clear as ice and jade remains."
When we are successful, we overestimate the future; when we fail, we underestimate the present.
In times of peace, think of danger; in adversity, seek change. This is a chance for rebirth, to become stronger or seek a new life. Let your heart and reason decide, staying vigilant and taking action will not be wrong.
"Act first, then plan," this is the wise motto for the lost and depressed.
We are not chickens waiting to be slaughtered on a chopping board, we are living beings. As humans, we must be flexible and full of vitality.
Remind yourself once again, "Take action immediately," life goes on, keep going.